163 lines
4.8 KiB
Python
163 lines
4.8 KiB
Python
import re
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import discord
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import nltk
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import stockquotes
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# TODO implement new jokes
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# - j'accuse
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# - egos
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# - money is no option
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# - we're young, hot, and rich
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# - last name page when ordering
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# - mcnulty shot and beer
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# - white trash karate backflips
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# - buc-ees
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# - arbys
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# - grease 2
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# - Sweet Transvestite
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# - Hopkins County Stew Contest
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# - yesterday tacos
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# - strip club
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class Joke:
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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raise NotImplementedError
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def scan(self, message: discord.Message) -> re.Match:
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return self.regex.search(message.content)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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raise NotImplementedError
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class CumJoke(Joke):
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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words = [
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'come',
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'coming',
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'came',
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'cum',
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'cumming',
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'cummed'
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]
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return re.compile(f"(?<!\w)({'|'.join(words)})(?!\w)", re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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if not match.group(0).startswith('be'):
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await message.add_reaction(discord.utils.get(client.emojis, name='kaylon'))
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class BlackJoke(Joke):
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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return re.compile('black (\w+)', re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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res = unblack(message.content)
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if res is not None:
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msg = await message.reply(res)
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await msg.add_reaction(discord.utils.get(client.emojis, name='kaylon'))
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class AssJoke(Joke):
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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return re.compile('[ \-]ass[ \-](?P<target>\w+)', re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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res = assify(message.content)
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if res is not None:
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await message.reply(f'{res} {discord.utils.get(client.emojis, name="kaylon")}')
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class DominosJoke(Joke):
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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return re.compile('domino\'?s', re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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cp = stockquotes.Stock('DPZ').current_price
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msg = f'You know, my friend Ben has made about ${cp - 16:.0f} on Domino\'s stock. He basically owns it now'
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if (e := discord.utils.get(client.emojis, name="pizza")):
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await message.add_reaction(e)
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await message.reply(msg)
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class GifJoke(Joke):
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url: str
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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await message.channel.send(self.url)
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class BeansJoke(GifJoke):
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url = 'https://c.tenor.com/TjX1yORoln0AAAAM/this-is-beans-beans.gif'
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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return re.compile('beans', re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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await message.reply('Somebody help! I\'ve got beans in my motherboard!\n')
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await super().respond(message, client, match)
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class NotLikeThisJoke(GifJoke):
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url = 'https://tenor.com/view/not-like-this-the-matrix-panic-neo-angry-gif-5216157'
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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return re.compile('not like this', re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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await message.reply(self.url)
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class ChiliJoke(GifJoke):
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url = 'https://tenor.com/view/office-gif-20038284'
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@property
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def regex(self) -> re.Pattern:
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return re.compile('chil(i|ly)', re.IGNORECASE)
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async def respond(self, message: discord.Message, client: discord.Client, match: re.Match):
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await message.reply(self.url)
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pattern = 'NP: {<DT>?<JJ>*<NN>}'
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cp = nltk.RegexpParser(pattern)
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def token_list(s):
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return nltk.chunk.tree2conlltags(
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cp.parse(
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nltk.pos_tag(
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nltk.word_tokenize(s)
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)))
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def assify(s):
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tag_list = token_list(s)
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for i, (text, tag, iob) in enumerate(tag_list):
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if text[-3:].lower() == 'ass':
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try:
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next_tag = tag_list[i + 1][1]
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if next_tag == 'NN' or next_tag == 'NNS':
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return f'ass-{tag_list[i + 1][0]}'
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except IndexError as e:
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return
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def unblack(s):
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tag_list = token_list(s)
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for i, (text, tag, iob) in enumerate(tag_list):
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if text.lower() == 'black':
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if tag.startswith('JJ') or tag.startswith('NN'):
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for text, tag, iob in tag_list[i + 1:]:
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if tag.startswith('NN'):
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return f'Or as I would say, {text.lower()}'
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